Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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