There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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