her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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