You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
