I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
