I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize