it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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