when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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