SEEEEXXX PLEASE
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
