i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.