Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
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Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame