and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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