I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
