ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
