just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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