Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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