I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it was like eating out sand paper
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
