I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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