some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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