i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
