I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
