I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
