you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
