It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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