i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
