In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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