Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
