I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
