I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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