Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
