A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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