sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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