Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
