Your mouth is God's brothel.
Someone shit on the floor
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
