What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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