Whatcha textin bout Willis?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
