Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
