I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
