WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
