Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
