Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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