my sisters under your porch take her home
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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