Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You ruined the universe
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
