Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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