I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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