i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.