Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

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  (256): One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project. http://tfl.nu/03dc
  Replies (38) Good night (1186) Bad night (4856)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?

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  (337): but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp? http://tfl.nu/p1my
  Replies (28) Good night (1180) Bad night (5776)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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  (254): There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN. http://tfl.nu/m7t2
  Replies (35) Good night (7176) Bad night (1408)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

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  (402): I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat http://tfl.nu/ufc8
  Replies (24) Good night (2323) Bad night (3282)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.

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  (419): We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun. http://tfl.nu/fiqf
  Replies (10) Good night (4351) Bad night (925)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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  (804): Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night? http://tfl.nu/x7lh
  Replies (7) Good night (5070) Bad night (1072)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  But you wear shame so well

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  (303): Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group (1-303): But you wear shame so well http://tfl.nu/l3oh
  Replies (4) Good night (2747) Bad night (605)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.

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  (+61): I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7. http://tfl.nu/on6e
  Replies (10) Good night (1315) Bad night (755)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude

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  (519): you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude http://tfl.nu/j4kw
  Replies (8) Good night (1663) Bad night (387)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..

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  (443): So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses.. http://tfl.nu/gsxe
  Replies (14) Good night (1735) Bad night (499)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!

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  (443): I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD! http://tfl.nu/k4l1
  Replies (14) Good night (1043) Bad night (682)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.

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  (570): And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny. http://tfl.nu/bodd
  Replies (9) Good night (814) Bad night (383)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.

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  (778): She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever. http://tfl.nu/jz26
  Replies (5) Good night (381) Bad night (855)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

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  (757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8
  Replies (0) Good night (644) Bad night (250)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.

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  (+61): He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it. http://tfl.nu/xk8c
  Replies (2) Good night (774) Bad night (192)

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