I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize