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You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
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