not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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