just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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