was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
