thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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