Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
