I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize