Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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