The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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