i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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