scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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