She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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