i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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