I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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