If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
