Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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